


Where do I go?

by BCBoo



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-06-01 02:48:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6497797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BCBoo/pseuds/BCBoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short bit of fluff.</p><p>Barba had always been alone, and happy, until now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where do I go?

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea and even though I know who I think the other person is I thought it would be nice to leave it completely open to interpretation. 
> 
> Who is Barba in a relationship in? Well that is up to you.

When did this happen? Rafael Barba had always been quite happy on his own. He’d thrown himself into his career years ago and it paid off. He’d never suspected requesting a lateral move to Manhattan would be such a life changing decision.

They met through work. Rafael had always respected the police but never imagined having a relationship with an officer. Even when they first met neither them had considered the other relationship material. But as time went on and Barba continued to work increasingly closer with the SVU squad a spark was ignited. They kept the relationship quiet for professional reasons but Rafael slowly realised, shockingly, he was in love.

He enjoyed the secret subtle looks while they were at work. When his phone buzzed he never knew if it was work related or a flirty private message, it was a thrill. But he was surprised to find that more than anything he loved coming home to someone. Walking through the door at the end of a long day and seeing the person he loved sprawled out on the sofa in casual wear, maybe reading a book, or watching some terrible TV program that had never been shown in Rafael’s apartment before. Or perhaps they’d just be sleeping peacefully.

When Rafael got home first he’d usually settle down at his desk with his notes and either a cup of coffee or a glass of scotch. When he heard the front door open he’d smile and wait for those gentle loving arms to embrace him.

He’d got used to having home cooked meals they’d prepare together rather than living off snacks, restaurant food and take out. He enjoyed lazy Sunday mornings where they would talk about anything but work. He didn’t even care that his apartment wasn’t show home tidy all the time, easy to achieve before when he was alone and barely there. The chaos had become a comfort. 

But then suddenly he was alone again. It was the strangest feeling. They were separate but still together. What was supposed to be a short undercover operation had metaphorically struck gold. Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months. It had struck Rafael harder than he ever imagined. One scotch in an evening turned into two or three. While he used to cope with 5 hours sleep a night he found himself barely surviving on two or three restless hours. It hadn’t affected his work yet but a niggling voice at the back of him mind told him it was only a matter of time.

He hated going home. The apartment felt empty, lifeless, soulless even. He found himself turning those awful TV shows on just for some white noise and familiarity. Life was dull; he’d read every book recommendation he’d received since the relationship began and found the take outs he used to live on increasingly disappointing but couldn’t bring himself to cook alone. 

Not being able to talk to anyone about it was the worst part. Colleagues who knew about the undercover operation didn’t know about the relationship. Friends who knew about the relationship couldn’t know about the operation. He ducked and avoided question from friends about his relationship as only a lawyer can. His friends assumed he’d had his heart broken and just didn’t want to talk about it, but in a way wasn’t that true? He wasn’t a fool; he knew the person who went undercover wasn’t necessarily the same person that would come out of it, especially the longer they were under. What if that Thursday morning when he’d yelled a hurried goodbye as he walked out the door to go to court was the end of the relationship?

He was overthinking again. Being a lawyer it was an important skill, but after hours when he was done for the day and couldn’t focus on a case anymore his mind focused on things he wanted to avoid. A warm laugh he hadn’t heard for months, the smell of the herbal tea they’d convinced him to try if only to stop him drinking so much caffeine, the feel of a warm gentle kiss waking him up in the morning. He needed a drink, and noise.

Rafael left his empty apartment and headed to a local bar. It was busy as usual, and loud, perfect to drown out his thoughts. He found a spot at the end of the bar to park himself for the night and ordered his usual. All around him there were people meeting up with friends, having dates or just finding company for the night. Dotted around the bar were loners drowning their sorrows like him. Rafael smirked to himself and mentally referred to them as his people.

So here he was again. Alone but not. In a relationship but single. Could he go back to the way he was before if he needed to? Completely focused on work, no thoughts for the future except where his career might take him? Forget the other future he’d begun to imagine, a family, a house in the suburbs? He ordered another drink. He supposed technically he could go back to the way he used to be but would he want to? Knowing what he knows now could that make him happy? He didn’t answer himself but instead shifted his focus to what appeared to be argument breaking out on the other end of the bar.

When he was halfway through his second drink he felt his phone vibrate. He paused, should he look? It could be about a case but at this time of night if it was urgent they’d probably call rather than text. Curiosity got the better of him. The text was just two words but they were the best two words he’d ever read.

“I’m back.” 

Rafael felt like his heart had stopped. Whatever the undercover operation was it was over. He didn’t know what to do, he wanted to scream, laugh, cry all at once.

Another text came through.

“I’ll be at yours in 20, you better be there”

Rafael abandoned his drink, all but ran out of the bar and rushed home. All previous melancholy thoughts and questions banished from his mind. None of that mattered now, not now his love was home.


End file.
